Successfully Sad

Creation,

As I sit, binging on “Wallander” and working on my capital one business stuff,quick books,grants.gov,pay pal,turbo tax,WordPress,create space,KDP,LinkedIn,Facebook, and Instagram…I can honestly say, I am successfully sad.

This is my birthday weekend…I have no time to celebrate because I’ve got way too much to do…the balance never fits…personally when i’m happy my finances are a mess….when my finances aren’t a mess my personal life is in shambles.

I feel like Superman….I feel like crying…I feel like my Father God…too much involvement may save lives but whose gonna save you?…when your hurt?…pushing?…loving?…being you? liked? loved?or hated anyway?…

Your expected to be good….great…above and beyond…but yet if its not tangible…then belief in you goes south…and if it is tangible, then its never enough!

I am happy to be alive and I will sleep when I die…but the closer I get to understanding life…the more I realize I don’t know shit!

People lie…nothing is for certain and if you don’t brush it off you’ll die with it….You can’t just run around being weak…needy…taking disrespect…Can you? Should you?

But I am not sad for me…I used to be…I am sad because by the time people see me…superman…God…mistakes have been made…time has passed…and all you tried to do and save them from beats an “I told you so” because its far too late for that…..

So I am happy…grateful…full…working…pushing…and reaching …just like my father God…just like superman.

Proving who you are should not be an option….. when you accept all that is… was and forever will be… as is…broken…tattered…new….old…bad…good…loved or unloved…but hey….who am I talking to anyway? Who am I to talk to anyone anyway about anything….I’m alive! I love! I am overwhelmed! but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

What kind of life has, no stories to tell but of what you used to be? No, family hugging your legs saying “Hi Mom I love you”? No, way out or no way in on your own? No,”I have no idea what I am doing but I am going for it anyway?” Its the kind of life not for me!cropped-14915733_10210121733612788_9042943072070231359_n1.jpg…I wont be the prized horse who gets injured and succumbs to being glue…no matter what my injuries …I will live!…and I will own the glue company and be happy doing it!

wandasncredible appreciates you!

XOXO

P.S.”If you only do what you can do …you’ll never be more than you are”-Master Shifu-Kung Fu Panda 3

 

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